oh god i LOVE the ridiculous premises of trashy romance novels (and how many green-eyed, red-haired female protagonists there are. trashy romance novel universes are 50% redheads. but only the women.) my sister used to really love the paranormal ones where the author was apparently trying to play paranormal bingo, like: SHE is a badass vampire-fighting ghost valkyrie who can do earth magic and whose only joy in life is stabbing vampires, and HE is a highland warrior-turned-vampire born in the 17th century who was cursed by a mage to turn into a beast once a month but also has a secret heart of gold even though he's spent centuries killing people. oh and there's time travel for some reason. will the fact that he's a vampire and literally her whole thing is killing vampires keep them apart? or will... their passion... make it a matter....... of the heart?

anyway i don't know where this is going other than i wish publishers would pay me money for my garbage stories.