small town divorce fic visuals part 1

sorry, this site is not good for collecting images and i am sure it will be a nightmare to display on mobile, but i just want to share some visuals for fic insp! right now i am calling the town McDade, Texas, because i am unimaginative and that's the name of the small town I'm reading a book about, lol. but also... doesn't it kinda feel right?
( Read more... )

one of the greatest gryles photos i've ever seen

hannah's been sending me a daily roundup of 1d related news (is that cheating on my tumblr hiatus? oh well) and this is MY FAVORITE THING i've ever seen. i've just been cradling my laptop in my arms, staring at it.
WHY IS HARRY SITTING ALONE AT A TABLE OF OLD PEOPLE WHILE NICK IS DEEP IN CONVERSATION AT A DIFFERENT TABLE WITH AN ELDERLY MAN? WHO GAVE HARRY POM-POMS??? IS HARRY CHEATING ON THE BINGO? (NO I HAVE NOT WATCHED THE SPECIAL YET, SOMEONE SEND ME A LINK.)

barry headcanons???

oh my god i just read this interview and i'm so so full of barry feelings??? i have a Lot of Headcanons that i did not have five minutes ago????? wow i almost can't even articulate them now because they feel so brand new but i am really really interested in how this new information about his childhood would affect wolfpack dynamics, and I am also v interested in the fact that he is five years older than fionn, which changes something about the way i'm headcanoning them. and ALSO i am having so many feelings about him thinking of acting as a job rather than a Sacred Craft, esp the fact that he only auditioned because he saw a note in a window and secretly wrote down the number so his friends wouldn't laugh at him and then called it at home??? also the quote from his girlfriend about him being impulsive and not thinking things through but also being caring and feeling deeply when he's hurt someone!!!

and i will eventually have SOME WORDS TO SAY about niall and barry, especially re: "It’s not easy but it has made me who I am. I don’t go around complaining about it, I get on with it," and re: Irish boys from dysfunctional families getting on with it and not going around complaining about it, and tbh?? i would read a 50k barry/niall fic that explores like.. barry idolizing niall, and also the two of them having this sort of intuitive unspoken understanding re: irishness and being (or wanting to be) permanent expats and having a complicated relationship to home/family. but then niall's life has been very easy in some ways ($$$ mostly), but also not easy in other ways -- i'm just thinking of that quote from zayn's PR person today about one direction being like the army, where you lose the ability to tell what's good/healthy for you, and it doesn't matter what you feel really because it's not going to stop or slow down even if you wanted it to. and maybe fic!barry has some understanding of what it feels like to be caught up in this sort of amorphous impersonal system that doesn't really care where you want to go or what you want to do, but also, he was able to sort of kick out at it and stir up trouble and be impulsive in ways that allow him to exercise/have some kind of freedom. whereas niall couldn't rebel, he was so under the microscope and so conscious of all these other people's futures riding on him, and he just learned to control and suppress whatever he was feeling. he trained himself to ignore whatever signs his body and brain were giving him because his body/brain kept saying it was Too Much but things being Too Much wasn't an option. OK PHEW. WOW. TWO DIFFICULT BACKSTORIES THAT WERE DIFFICULT IN SUCH WILDLY DIFFERENT WAYS!!! WHAT WOULD THEY BE LIKE TOGETHER!!!!! HOW WOULD THESE HISTORIES MANIFEST IN THE RHYTHMS / DYNAMICS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP????

FLICKER IS ABOUT NARRY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

ok i am finally read to do my track-by-track selection of the angstiest narry lyrics from every song on Flicker. READY??? GO. sorry i was wildly inconsistent about the formatting lmao.

on the loose
she doesn't know how to lose

[what a painful parallel with Louis's "He doesn't really lose, Harry." and just fuel for all of my past-lourry narry headcanons where harry is the one thing that niall and louis never, ever talk about.]

she'll run with your mind and pull you in tight
then trade you in for something new
I know what it's like, I fell for it twice
and now I'm just warning you.

[this is a reference to harry writing WDBHG to try and win niall back, because this time he was ready to commit - and then slowly fading out of niall's life again. the worst part about harry is he doesn't even break your heart properly. no big fight, no closure. he just gradually withdraws, makes himself less available, and then you realize one day that he's gone and you didn't even get to say goodbye.

can we also talk about how there are so many emotional parallels to Fool's Gold on this album? there are. ouch.]

this town
waking up to kiss you and nobody's there [see above re: harry ghosting]

and I want to tell you everything / the words I never got to say the first time around ['this town' might not be my favorite song but this lyric just.. destroys me. for me it is a strong contender for the top 5 most painful narry headcanon lyrics on the album]

you still make me nervous when you walk in the room / them butterflies, they come alive when I'm next to you [GAHHH. THE SWEETEST, GENTLEST, PUREST LOVE.]

seeing blind
I was young, my heart was always on the run / but you make lovin' fun / I never knew it could be / hey, I see you from a different point of view / I feel it's too good to be true / I found my missing piece.

[WE FIT + a fleetwood mac reference. 2 + 2 = harry broke niall's goddamn heart and niall would do it all over again without hesitating, because when it was good, it was so good, so sweet, so full of joy and laughter and love.

slow hands
sorry, this song isn't about harry, it's about the girl who took niall horan home from a bar and introduced him to pegging.

too much to ask
there's no point in writing angsty narry canon fic anymore, because niall has written the definitive works of narry canon angst, and one of them is this song.

you smile back at me and your face lit up the sun [is there anything more narry in the whole world? no. there is nothing more narry.]

and the line that I will never recover from, another strong contender for most painful narry lyric on the album: 

don't it feel fucked up we're not in love?

paper houses
so turn your head, and let us go / I learned to breathe on my own. [tbh this is probably the song I skip most often, sorry haley, but this is painful innit?]

since we're alone
why would you wanna play someone else / I love you best when you're just yourself and also just, bahhhh: since we're alone / you can show me your heart / show me your heart and show me all that you are

flicker
i just............ this song still makes me tear up in the car and i've been listening to the album on repeat for days. i can't listen to it without picturing niall closing his eyes and singing it in that live acoustic version. or the way his face looked in the last couple seconds of that video, where he's just like... he's hurt. he's hurting. harry, why. i don't understand.

fire away
FIRE AWAY IS MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE ALBUM, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S OBJECTIVELY THE BEST BUT I LOVE IT MOST, IT IS ALL OF MY SOFTEST, GENTLEST, BEST FRIEND NARRY HEADCANONS EXPRESSED IN A SINGLE SONG. i'm just going to talk about the song as if it's definitely 100% about harry haha. ok.

niall addressing harry as 'darling.' harry holding niall close but at a distance, thinking he doesn't ever listen. but he does. harry feeling confused, as he often is, because emotions are hard for him to sort through. but niall's here to reassure him: you might be lost but i ain't losing you. fire away. tell him whatever you're thinking, feeling, needing. tell him when you're hurting. tell him when you're overwhelmed. talk to him, harry. talk to him. and I will steady your hand / when you're losing your grip / and even if i don't understand / you can talk to me.

you and me
this one has grown on me a lot. i feel like everyone has already pored over the 'sweet creature' / 'you and me' parallels. which btw I love how if you think of these as paired songs, the different vibe of each so perfectly reflects their different worldviews. i could absolutely, 100% write a five page analysis essay explaining how this pairing of songs confirms my 'harry and niall are the same person but different' theory. they fit. i'm emo.

when I look down the line / at the man I wanna be / I've always known from the start / that it ends with you and me.

on my own
this is not really a narry song, but i fuckin love it. i love dirty, grungy, irritable, unshowered, hungover niall!!! also now that i've thought about it more i've realized it IS a narry song lmao. i'll wake up at midday and marry my bed is obviously the hungover, unshowered, 'don't pick up the phone, you know he's only calling 'cos he's drunk and alone' response to woke up alone in this hotel room / played with myself, where were you?

the tide
I stay close, hold steady / 'cause I don't wanna it, don't want it to end and also I just want a safe place to hide us away AND OF COURSE, FUCKIN:

when I go, all I ever seem to fear / is that you're gonna find someone / and slowly watch me disappear

more niall/barry headcanons

nicole commented "barry/niall is the New Narry" and then i wrote this very long comment that i've decided to make a post instead, so i can save it in my brand new niall_barry tag. here it is:

in this hypothetical 50k barry/niall character study fic i am imagining a narry backstory where it wasn't like, they were dating and harry broke niall's heart, but more like, narry had this weird intense soul bond friendship/relationship they never labeled, and even now that they're not really talking anymore, that soul bond remains somehow so integral to niall's sense of self that he can't/won't talk about him to anyone else. it's like harry is this thing that goes without saying in niall's life/past, this thing that everyone who knows niall just... accepts and doesn't ask about, because it feels too big. harry is this tangled knot of feeling at the very center of niall, and part of niall is afraid that if he pokes at it too much, if he tries to unravel it, he'll unravel himself in the process. he'll come apart, come undone. and barry has to sort of... navigate around that and figure out how to make sense of it without saying something that's going to make those walls come up that keep him out. and maybe everyone else in niall's life has just like.. let it be, because they figure it's too much to get into, or they figure niall knows his own business. and barry kinda gets that, he does think that for the most part niall knows his own business and can handle himself just fine, but when it comes to harry he's not so sure niall knows what he's doing. and he sort of feels like, there are things about niall and harry's bond that niall's gonna need to sort through someday. like, the way it evolved in this weird cramped claustrophobic space they carved out for themselves at the center of their insane lives. the way niall's whole adult sense of self seems to have developed around harry in ways that don't strike barry as completely healthy, not that he's one to judge the coping mechanisms people develop to deal with things they can't shut out.

i just love narry examined from the outside, especially a kind of.. not darker but less idealized version of narry? a version of narry where they really are best friends and they do love each other, but niall has this idealized vision of their bond in his head. and he invested so much energy into it back then, because he needed some kind of solid foundation, some stable point he could use to orient himself when everything else about their lives was so transitory and impermanent. and barry kind... sees that, and gets it, but is also starting to piece together this maybe more accurate vision of harry as someone who leaves, and who isn't always good at following through or being the person he promised to be, and who had good intentions but also really kinda messed with niall's head. and maybe the only way that niall is going to be able to unpack what was Not Good for him about 1d, or those incredibly complicated layers of good and not-good, is by unpacking what was good and not-good about his relationship with harry.

OK I HAVE NO IDEA IF ANY OF THAT MAKES SENSE!!!!! IDK I just went through all of Flicker having all of my "HARRY HOW COULD YOU" feelings, but now i am also enjoying thinking about a very different version of narry!!! AND ALSO ABOUT BARRY/NIALL, WHICH I GUESS I AM SUPER INTO NOW??