more niall/barry headcanons
Nov. 2nd, 2017 11:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
saysthemagpienicole commented "barry/niall is the New Narry" and then i wrote this very long comment that i've decided to make a post instead, so i can save it in my brand new niall_barry tag. here it is:
in this hypothetical 50k barry/niall character study fic i am imagining a narry backstory where it wasn't like, they were dating and harry broke niall's heart, but more like, narry had this weird intense soul bond friendship/relationship they never labeled, and even now that they're not really talking anymore, that soul bond remains somehow so integral to niall's sense of self that he can't/won't talk about him to anyone else. it's like harry is this thing that goes without saying in niall's life/past, this thing that everyone who knows niall just... accepts and doesn't ask about, because it feels too big. harry is this tangled knot of feeling at the very center of niall, and part of niall is afraid that if he pokes at it too much, if he tries to unravel it, he'll unravel himself in the process. he'll come apart, come undone. and barry has to sort of... navigate around that and figure out how to make sense of it without saying something that's going to make those walls come up that keep him out. and maybe everyone else in niall's life has just like.. let it be, because they figure it's too much to get into, or they figure niall knows his own business. and barry kinda gets that, he does think that for the most part niall knows his own business and can handle himself just fine, but when it comes to harry he's not so sure niall knows what he's doing. and he sort of feels like, there are things about niall and harry's bond that niall's gonna need to sort through someday. like, the way it evolved in this weird cramped claustrophobic space they carved out for themselves at the center of their insane lives. the way niall's whole adult sense of self seems to have developed around harry in ways that don't strike barry as completely healthy, not that he's one to judge the coping mechanisms people develop to deal with things they can't shut out.
i just love narry examined from the outside, especially a kind of.. not darker but less idealized version of narry? a version of narry where they really are best friends and they do love each other, but niall has this idealized vision of their bond in his head. and he invested so much energy into it back then, because he needed some kind of solid foundation, some stable point he could use to orient himself when everything else about their lives was so transitory and impermanent. and barry kind... sees that, and gets it, but is also starting to piece together this maybe more accurate vision of harry as someone who leaves, and who isn't always good at following through or being the person he promised to be, and who had good intentions but also really kinda messed with niall's head. and maybe the only way that niall is going to be able to unpack what was Not Good for him about 1d, or those incredibly complicated layers of good and not-good, is by unpacking what was good and not-good about his relationship with harry.
OK I HAVE NO IDEA IF ANY OF THAT MAKES SENSE!!!!! IDK I just went through all of Flicker having all of my "HARRY HOW COULD YOU" feelings, but now i am also enjoying thinking about a very different version of narry!!! AND ALSO ABOUT BARRY/NIALL, WHICH I GUESS I AM SUPER INTO NOW??
in this hypothetical 50k barry/niall character study fic i am imagining a narry backstory where it wasn't like, they were dating and harry broke niall's heart, but more like, narry had this weird intense soul bond friendship/relationship they never labeled, and even now that they're not really talking anymore, that soul bond remains somehow so integral to niall's sense of self that he can't/won't talk about him to anyone else. it's like harry is this thing that goes without saying in niall's life/past, this thing that everyone who knows niall just... accepts and doesn't ask about, because it feels too big. harry is this tangled knot of feeling at the very center of niall, and part of niall is afraid that if he pokes at it too much, if he tries to unravel it, he'll unravel himself in the process. he'll come apart, come undone. and barry has to sort of... navigate around that and figure out how to make sense of it without saying something that's going to make those walls come up that keep him out. and maybe everyone else in niall's life has just like.. let it be, because they figure it's too much to get into, or they figure niall knows his own business. and barry kinda gets that, he does think that for the most part niall knows his own business and can handle himself just fine, but when it comes to harry he's not so sure niall knows what he's doing. and he sort of feels like, there are things about niall and harry's bond that niall's gonna need to sort through someday. like, the way it evolved in this weird cramped claustrophobic space they carved out for themselves at the center of their insane lives. the way niall's whole adult sense of self seems to have developed around harry in ways that don't strike barry as completely healthy, not that he's one to judge the coping mechanisms people develop to deal with things they can't shut out.
i just love narry examined from the outside, especially a kind of.. not darker but less idealized version of narry? a version of narry where they really are best friends and they do love each other, but niall has this idealized vision of their bond in his head. and he invested so much energy into it back then, because he needed some kind of solid foundation, some stable point he could use to orient himself when everything else about their lives was so transitory and impermanent. and barry kind... sees that, and gets it, but is also starting to piece together this maybe more accurate vision of harry as someone who leaves, and who isn't always good at following through or being the person he promised to be, and who had good intentions but also really kinda messed with niall's head. and maybe the only way that niall is going to be able to unpack what was Not Good for him about 1d, or those incredibly complicated layers of good and not-good, is by unpacking what was good and not-good about his relationship with harry.
OK I HAVE NO IDEA IF ANY OF THAT MAKES SENSE!!!!! IDK I just went through all of Flicker having all of my "HARRY HOW COULD YOU" feelings, but now i am also enjoying thinking about a very different version of narry!!! AND ALSO ABOUT BARRY/NIALL, WHICH I GUESS I AM SUPER INTO NOW??
